I'm Sorry

I ended up watching part two of the PBS Mormons show last night and it was quite moving. I felt uncomfortable about my blog post while I watched it. I don't want to jump on the bandwagon of British sneering at American piety. The Brits have a phobic attitude to the mention of God or the idea someone might pray or believe.

It's a much more common thing here, and the reason might be the one suggested by my American Aesthetics professor at CUNY: Americans are so religious because when they came here, the geography and weather were so challenging that they needed something to lean on. The geography continues to play a role, maybe, in our loneliness and depression, so much higher than in Britain.

Once in England at my father's house, someone sneezed and I said, "Bless you." It was habitual after a few years in New York. No one answered and it hung in the air like a horrible gaffe. How could I have alluded to the existence of a diety? How tacky! But in New York you're blessed all day long by strangers. The first time someone said it to me on the subway, it was very unexpected, and touching. But at work we also say "bless you" after someone sneezes. Maybe it's because having a bad cold here is harder like everything is harder here. We don't have cars, we have to schlep everywhere ourselves. If you have to go to the doctor you have to ride the subway -- by the time you get back home, you're usually sicker.

I don't know. Some of our best, most brilliant songwriters (David Berman, Cat Power, Will Oldham) sing about God. It doesn't strike the American ear as grotesque, even if you're a non-believer. It's an idea in common parlance here. Plus we don't despise religious people, like Brits do.

I enjoy a witty takedown of an eccentric religion like Mormonism. But I wish to dissociate myself from any gleeful contempt that I sang the praises of in the post below. I shouldn't have -- I am terrible -- I have sin in my heart.