Laugh, Damn Your Eyes

I realize that lately my blog posts have been about as funny as a crutch. Here are a few of my jokes from Week #1 of my class. Laugh it up!


A priest in Amsterdam phoned in a fake bomb threat to a Madonna concert, hoping to prevent the star from re-enacting the crucifixion scene. Reached for comment, Madonna said, “If they’re going to phone in cheap fake bomb threats, I might have to resort to doing something cheap and fake myself.”

Stanford University is the latest organization to ban all gifts from pharmaceutical companies to doctors, even mugs and pens. Many gifts have already been recalled, since it was discovered that they can cause high blood pressure, renal deficiency and being a scumbag.

First Lady Laura Bush is organizing a conference to improve reading skills in the world’s most illiterate countries. Mrs. Bush said her program would address every illiterate population, except “the neighborhood kids,” i.e. the many disadvantaged children living near the White House, “because they are armed.”