Today I Learned

Today I learned that a friend of mine can sing really well. I've been feeling antisocial lately and I didn't want to go to this show, but after an afternoon walking around in the rain looking for another friend's open gallery show, and not finding it, I wanted to see someone I knew. I thought, how hard can it be to sit in an East Village bar and listen to some music? When I got there I found it wasn't a bar, but the basement of a Jewish temple. There were candles on the tables and wine and beer for sale, but it's not the same -- the atmosphere was muted and dreadfully intimate, from my perspective. I sat there feeling like running away. But I want people to come to my play soon, and I knew I had to put in time supporting friends for that to happen.

Singing is so strange -- it's so psychologically revealing. You can enjoy a voice if the singer is relaxed with it, and is involved in the song. Even a good voice can be irritating if the singer is pushing it so hard they're going over the top every chance they get. When I came in, a woman was singing in a balls-out way that I found paralyzing and ego-driven. Her vitality was so intense it was pulverizing. It made me cringe and curl up inside.

I kept thinking about my own singing and how constricted it is. But I remembered my friends always say they like it. Still, I found it hard to remember a time when I could stand up and want to sing to people.

I just wanted to listen to my friend and leave. But it seemed to take forever to get to her. I felt the whole undertaking was doomed. My friend's teacher (it was a showcase for her singing class) was undermining her by putting so many people before her. I kept planning my escape and rehearsing my speech: I had to get home, I just had to leave.

But no, I kept telling myself - be a good sport. You have to stay. Be calm. Chill.

Finally my friend got up and took the stage. She had kept herself together during the long wait, and she stood there and delivered her first song with a nice modesty and some funny acting. She had a good voice and she used it well. Her next song was hard and there was some trouble with the guitarist and what key he was using. But she got through it and her last song was wonderful - Angel From Montgomery - it's a great song and she did it really well.

I knew she'd never sung in public and I was amazed how well she did. It was easy to enjoy it. It was easy to feel glad I was there.